This Isn’t a Communication Problem
Picture this: You open your inbox, read a message, and sigh, “That’s not what I said.”
Or maybe you’ve written and rewritten a message, trying to sound neutral and clear. You hit send, only to receive a reply that is defensive or cold. Suddenly, you’re second-guessing everything: Is it them? Is it me? And more importantly, how do we stop this grueling cycle of misunderstanding?
There is a kind of time travel that happens in written communication. You write from one energetic moment; they read from another. In between, life keeps moving. Moods shift, circumstances change, energy evolves. That delay – that unseen stretch of time and space – is where things often go sideways.
When we understand what’s happening in that in-between space, we can communicate with more clarity, compassion and ease.
The 3-Spaces Framework of Communication
At 4th Wheel Flow, we teach a simple but powerful framework that we call The 3 Spaces. It helps people visualize any interaction, and see where and how they can apply the principles of energetic intelligence. The premise is that every interaction is composed of 3 distinct areas: my space, your space, and the space between. The rules are simple: each person in the interaction controls what moves from their space to the shared space (what they put in), and what moves from the shared space into their space (what they take out). Within our own “space,” we carry an Energetic State of Being (ESB) – our vibe, the tone we bring to the moment.
Your ESB is both personal and contagious. It shapes how you perceive and how you’re perceived. It colors every word you write and every message you read.
The Space Between: A Place of Possibility
The space between us is not empty, it’s alive with potential. It’s where we can pause, inquire, discern, and choose intentional action rather than automatic reaction.
Whatever you put into that space, whether spoken aloud or sent through a screen, passes through your ESB. When you strengthen your Energetic Self-awareness (ESA) – your ability to sense and understand your own energy – you gain power to notice what’s happening in your body and environment before you respond.
That awareness allows you to shift your energetic state in real time. You begin to respond rather than react, and the energy between you and others starts to change. Understanding this flow is the first step. The next step is learning how to use it intentionally.
Applying It to Written Communication
Written exchanges widen the space between us. What you write may be read minutes, hours, or days later. The reader meets your words from their own energetic state, not the one you were in when you wrote them.
Here’s where you can use the “time gap” to your advantage. Before you send, pause. Breathe. Check your energy.
Ask: What am I putting into the space between us right now?
When you cultivate presence and clarity, your communication changes.
Presence grounds you in this moment, not in a past argument or future worry.
Clarity reduces emotional charge and opens the door to understanding.
Both are hallmarks of Energetic Intelligence. They allow you to communicate from a steadiness rather than reaction, to engage logically and compassionately at the same time.
From Reaction to Resonance
When you bring presence and clarity into your words, you transform communication from reaction to resonance. You create possibilities for a real connection – even through a screen.
At 4th Wheel Flow, it’s part of our mission to make working together work better. Our interactive workshops and practices strengthen your energetic self-awareness through embodied experiences so that you can actually feel the shift as it happens.
Once you’ve felt it, you can bring that awareness to every space you move through – at work, at home, in life.
Learn more about introducing Energetic Intelligence to your workplace or organization here: https://www.4thwheelflow.com/services.